A Four Letter Word

Cancer is a four letter word. More specifically, a five letter word, but now we are just splitting hairs, aren’t we?

I debated for a month about sharing this, and finally decided I needed an outlet to rant. I am so frustrated trying to work with the VA to get the care I need. I am so frustrated with the fact that it took a month after I had 2 surgeries within 7 days of each other for the doctors to figure out I had nerve damage from the surgery and the pain pills they were throwing at me weren’t doing any good. I’m so frustrated with medical records going from one place to another, and no one claiming to have them. I’m so frustrated with the slow-turning wheels of the VA, and my fear that their failure to start chemo will result in this shit killing me. I’m so frustrated with the family members who I thought would stand behind me, texting behind my back and telling everyone I was faking my pain. I am so frustrated with being able to work only an hour at a time without having to take a two hour nap. I’m so frustrated that I worked so hard last year to get healthy, and get off 5 meds, and lose a metric butt ton of weight, to only be slapped in the face with cancer, this year.

I thought I was a tough chick. I have been stabbed, and shot, all in the Marines. I thought I was a prickly and hard-to-eradicate old bird. I HAVE NOT GIVEN CANCER PERMISSION TO EVEN BE IN MY BODY, MUCH LESS KICK MY ASS!

Cancer is a bitch.